Confidence Waning?

Confidence Waning? Meet Rachel.

Growing up, my mom used to tell people when I’d be looking in the mirror analyzing my crooked nose “She’s not conceited, she’s convinced”. Little did she know I was tearing my appearance apart. That “confidence” was actually self doubt, but no one knew it. Mom didn’t know any better, only that I sat perched on our bathroom counter endlessly staring and smiling and turning my head one way or another.

I’m pretty lucky that I can put on an alter ego like nobody’s business and be “on” when I need to. It’s a learned skill, perfected over time when I had to fill a role bigger than I was.

It’s not always the healthiest choice, but it’s served me well many times.

Authentic confidence appeared something others were born with, that I had to fake my way through. Whether it be a job interview, or a first date –  I never felt quite authentic about who I was. As an adult, I straddled the fence between cursing entrepreneur and conservative christian. Sometimes, it felt as though I didn’t fit.

Second guessing each decision –  whether what to wear after trying on outfit #42 or if I should put on the red lipstick or the mauve. I didn’t want to feel like a fraud, and honestly, I thought I was in most situations.
So, how does a scared little “grown up” girl afraid that no one will like her build a wildly successful business in just a few years when I had the confidence of a peanut? I’ll share with you the three mindset shifts I have to continuously revisit to move from terrified to triumphant in a second…

But first, a story. I was invited to speak at an event in Vegas, last minute – and when you’re asked to speak on stage in Vegas, you don’t ever say no. Unless it conflicts with values people, then run! Thankfully, this did not.

Alas, I said “sure”  and proceeded to have the biggest case of anxiety known to man. “Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams” had nothing on me. I was headed straight for the donuts, instead. I didn’t know what to wear, what to say, how to act. I had fear for how people were going to receive me alongside the likes of Dan Martell, Melanie Duncan and even the founder of Ugg Boots. These were big time players and I was about to walk into a playground much more sophisticated than I thought I was. I was struggling to find any ounce of authentic confidence in me. Alter ego tools weren’t working and there wasn’t a mirror in sight that could convince me that everyone wasn’t staring at me calling me an overweight fraud.

ConfidenceWaining-

Enter… Rachel Luna. A fire cracker, Puerto Rican born Marine with enough confidence to fill the entire Pacific Ocean.

A woman who requires no validation, Rachel reminded me of three things you need to know when your confidence as an entrepreneur is waning…

  1. There are liars living in your head. That’s right. You may not have invited them in, but girl, they are there, and if you’re ever going to get this [enter your dream here] to take flight, you have to kick those liars out.
  2. There is not a scenario in this world that you can’t navigate. Will you stumble? Yes. Will you survive? Yes. Should you let your baby ego get bruised? Nope. Carry on, Soldier.
  3. Marketing and shiny messaging don’t make you a better you. YOU need to become a better you, and that starts with figuring out what the exact next steps you need to take are, to grow a business and a life you actually believe in. No fraud necessary.

So, I walked that room and proclaimed it as my own. I prayed silently that God would show up and calm my rapidly beating heart so I didn’t drop dead on the walk up to the stage. I chose that I would embrace this opportunity and not take the easy way out. I was facing fears, confidently. And it felt real. I couldn’t have got there without Rachel that day.

So….what happened during my talk? Oh, the worst things ever…

Wardrobe malfunctions. Broken Microphones, buzzing speakers, and nerves for days. Did I survive? Yes. Will I ever speak on stage again? Heck yes.

I learned that I do fit in. That the lies in our heads are bigger only there, in our minds. Not in reality. I embraced that I do have a place in this space and that I can “do you” with more confidence than I ever imagined when armed with the right tools. Rachel thankfully showed up at the right time to remind me.

Rachel teaches all about confidence in her course Confident Entrepreneur Academy and it’s a brilliant program. I’m re-working through the modules, getting my head on straight and leaning into who I was made to be, instead of fighting the desire to be someone else.
And you can, too. To learn more about Rachel and her program, click here. No Affiliate Links necessary. Check it out, and join me to becoming a CONFIDENT Entrepreneur ready to take on your world. Crooked nose, red lipstick, and all.